(Context: Said after walking into a leather bondage club in San Francisco, where patrons are being stripped naked, chained into restraints, and whipped):Dan Hua Quotes
me: That's a mighty big meal you ordered there Dan. Dan: That's ok, I'm not going to eat it anyway.
me: You can't swing a dead cat in Chinatown without hitting a Dim Sum place. Dan: What kind of cat?
me: No belt today Dan? Dan: Well, I'm getting my hair cut. me: You're not wearing a belt because you're getting your hair cut? Dan: Well, I don't want to get it full of hair.
Dan: Gav is a 4-letter word.
Dan: Hey, What's that 'Sanyo' thing next to your TV? Me: That's a VCR Dan. Dan: Oh.
Dan: (hits me in the head with a tennis ball) Dan: (hits me in the head with a tennis ball) Me: Dan, stop that! Dan: Why?
Dan: What are you doing? Me: I'm just scratching my head. Dan: Yeeeaaachhh! Me: Why did you say that? Dan: I don't know.
Darren: I'm a Goober Boy! Dan: What's a Goober? Greg: It's a chocolate coated peanut. Dan: I thought it was snot. Micah: No, that's a booger. Dan: Oh, what's a goober?
Me: Once I move I won't have any money. Dan: But they are moving you for free. Me: No they're not. Dan: Well, you have to pay for it, but it's still free.
Me: Are you going to that free dinner tonight? Dan: It's not free, it's from 4pm to 6pm.
Dan: Aaah! People are smoking in here!(Context: The same leather bondage club):
Me: Hey, Dan, want to strip naked and get whipped by a woman in leather? Dan: It's too cold.(Context: After Dan Strellis just sinks a great putt at the Willow Park Golf Club):
Dan: Hey, Darren, are you left handed? Darren: No. Dan: Oh, then you're just weird?
Dan: You're looking unusually clean today, Gav.
Dan: I'm going to have your hair analyzed and see if there's any arsenic in there. Gav: Arsenic? Where'd that come from? Dan: Napoleon.
Dan: (out of the blue) Okay, well, do it! Scott: Do what, Dan? Dan: Oh, I forgot.
Dan: Do you always leave your glasses on when you sleep? Scott: No Dan: Well, does it make you feel less afraid of being tickled?
Val: (refering to taking home a cake) My husband doesn't eat sweets. Dan: Put salt on it.
Dan: Hey, what do all these stars in my output mean? Gav: It means the number doesn't match what you gave for its format. Dan: Ah! Very good, Gav! You are smarter than a monkey on a tightrope.
Dan: Wouldn't it be nice if "fun" were a commodity to be bought and sold, like happiness?
Dan: Why won't they put me on a postage stamp? Gav: Because you're not dead. Dan: They make exceptions. Gav: Answer this for me, though. The U.S. Postal Service has a whole series of stamps of "Classic American Dolls," but they don't include Barbie! Barbie is the single most popular doll on earth. Why doesn't she get recognition? Dan: Maybe it is because she is not dead?
Dan: Did you tell Brett about your adventure? Gav: What adventure? Dan: The poker game last Saturday. Gav: That was an adventure? Dan: Well, you were sneezeing. Gav: A sneeze is not an adventure, Dan. Dan: It was many sneezes.
Dan: Hey Gav, I want to thank you for last night. Gav: For what last night? Dan: For keeping in touch. Gav: Keeping in touch with what? Dan: Reality.
Emily: No more alcohol for me -- I have to drive. Dan: Yeah, me too. Gav: Dan, you don't have a car. Dan: I could rent one.
Dan: Good Job!! Dan Strellis and the Cincinnati Reds!! Dan S: What are you talking about Dan? I'm a Chicago Cubs fan. I hate the Reds. Dan: I know. I was trying to say Chicago Cubs, but it just came out that way.This site is currently being maintained by Darren Bleuel
Anthony:(after reading this page) Dan, where do you come up with these things? Dan: Random nerve firings.
Dan: Tomorrow is "natural eyesight day" so leave your eyeglasses and contacts at home.
Dan S.: Dan, why do you have so many pens in your bag? Dan H.: Well, most of them are dry, anyway. Dan S.: If they are dry, why do you keep them? Dan H.: Well, they aren't completely dry.
Q: Dan, you have to stop living vicariously through other people. Dan H.: I don't want to be a vicar.
Chris: (Telling a joke). On opposite ends of the earth, one person is walking a tightrope over a waterfall, and another is getting a blow job from a ninety-year old woman. They are both thinking the exact same thing. What is it? All: I don't know. What? Chris: Don't look down! (Assorted chuckles... Long silence...) Dan H.: Why is that? Gav: (Sarcastically) See, Dan, he could fall into the waterfall... Dan H.: I got that part!
Coomer: Haven't you noticed that all retards on TV have names that end in 'Y?' Dan S.: Hey, that's like your name, Danny. Dan H.: What about you, STRELLIS? Dan S.: Strellis doesn't end in 'Y.' Dan H.: Okay, JOJO!
Helen: Dan, why do you keep hitting me?!? Dan: I am striking you in the head with a water bottle. I am not hitting you!
Michael:(over the phone) Dan, what's the weather like over there? Dan: I'm shaving now.
Dan: (out of the blue...) So, do you have any good Latin quotes? Scott: (bewildered) Yeah, I guess, but why? Do you need one? Dan: (irritated) No, I don't need one. Why?
(entering a bookstore) Dan: So Dan, what are you looking for? Mike: Dan, my name is Mike. Dan: Yes, that's right! You are Mike and I am Dan. I guess I was asking myself the question.
Dan: There's a new movie coming out called Gladiator. Chad: There's already a movie called Gladiator. Dan: What's it called? Chad: Gladiator
Matt: (in reference to his computer problem): It's fucked. Dan: But only for you. Matt: That's the story of my life, Dan. It's fucked, but only for me. Dan: But you're still tall.
Steve: Where were you for the volleyball game yesterday, Dan? Dan: I was there. Steve: No you weren't! Dan: Yes I was. I was cold, so I watched from inside the door.
Dan: What do you want, Darren? Darren: EVERYTHING! Dan: When you ask for something, you should be more specific. Some things are good and some things are nasty... Darren: I want it all! Dan: Like syphilis!
Darren: Hey, who put "Blink 182" on the jukebox? Dan: I like these guys. Darren: You only like them for their name. Dan: I like any band with a number in their name.